Basics
Be sensitive to others' feelings. (p. 82)
It is all about demonstrating love and having a mutual respect. (p. 84)
Communication is the key (pp. 59-108)
Choose the right time to talk (p. 85)
If it looks like the conversation is going badly, withdraw and make a new attempt at a more auspicious time. (p. 85)
What you say may not necessarily be as important as when you say it. (p. 92)
Love
You shouldn't commit to a relationship without a powerful "sense of rightness," an intuitive and almost indescribable conviction that you have made the right choice. That's what following your heart means. (p. 9) Falling in love means that intuition tells you this is the right thing to do, without knowing for sure. You can't know it for sure, but when you see it you understand it. (p. 15)
Marriage
The in-love feeling has to be there --but it's not enough. ...Once you've assessed your heart, you need to logically and rationally assess the potential for a satisfying, lifelong relationship. (p. 16) Follow your head as well as your heart. (p. 18)
Do I trust him or her enough to merge our finances? (p. 23)
Before a marriage happens, you need to agree on whether or not to have children. (p. 24) Is s/he likely to be a good parent? A good provider? (p. 25)
Don't base your decisions about somebody on physical attraction because as the years go by that fades. You've got to find something richer and deeper --your beliefs, your values, the importance of rearing children--those kinds of things, to really make a rich marriage. (p. 28) You will have a better chance at marriage if your partner values the same things in life that you do.
Source:
Karl Pillermer. 30 Lessons for Loving: Advice from the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationships, and Marriage (New York, NY: Hudson Street Press. Published by the Penguin Group, 2015).
