Want to make all your arguments win-win? Stop fighting and start brainstorming

https://www.npr.org/2020/08/28/907043503/make-all-your-arguments-win-win-stop-fighting-and-start-brainstorming Want to make all your arguments win-win? Stop fighting and start brainstorming Updated June 30, 20222:46 PM ET Julia Furlan Sylvie Douglis Three-step technique to engage in tough discussions while keeping the conversation cool: 1. Acknowledge and validate the emotion. Recognize how everybody is feeling about the situation, even if it's difficult. for example, I'm married and we have a 4-year-old, and if my wife and I aren't on the same page ... before we even begin the discussion, I want to explain why we're having the discussion: "Whitney, I love you. And I just want to make sure that we're on the same page because I know both of us want what's best for Kai. I want to figure out what the best way for us to proceed would be." She cannot reject that. 2. Get curious with compassion. Ask lots of questions and genuinely listen to the answers. How am I feeling? Number two, getting curious with compassion: OK, I'm upset. Why am I upset? Why did that make me upset? What is it really on a fundamental level that's bothering me? 3. Engage in joint problem-solving. Once both parties have acknowledged how they're feeling and identified why there's an issue, come up with solutions together — so that there is buy-in from both sides. Life Kit Why Forgiving Someone Else Is Really About You