Mind training requires honesty, that is, we need to observe the mind as it is, and not to force or shape it into the way we want. In meditation (Zen) such a natural and pure observation is called intuition, noticing without any discriminative thoughts, nor any distinction between the observer and the observed. It is the first insight. When we examine our mind without love (attachment) nor hatred (detachment), we are able to see its true nature, and to notice the arising and the disappearing of mind processes. Just remain calm and quiet while watching the film about our physical and psychological processes. Gradually we will be able to become detached from them, from the grossest to the finest. This demands a lot of practice. However, with honesty, we accept what we truly are, and gradually get detached from all fetters without any fight or denial. Such is an important progress in our self transformation.
Many have struggled very hard to improve themselves, but, even with a strong determination, they failed to make any progress, and they even had occasional setbacks. One of the possible reasons was that they relied on their own will, and denied who and what they actually are. They hate themselves, and have inferior complex when they recognize their bad trends or habits. What they lack is an honest awareness that they need to accept who they actually are, and to transform their bad habits by practicing better ones.
Some people who have been in the convent for a long time may fall into the trap of seeing themselves as holy beings while deep down they are still human. Their strong desires to become holy may have hidden their real inner life. They may have perceived themselves as the reflections of their religious masters and predecessors. Their self love fools them into thinking that they are virtuous and saintly. They appear to be forgiving and tolerant, but suffer inner conflicts. One who seeks the truth must rely on their own experience, not on fantasy or imagination, for the truth is elusive if one is dishonest and incapable of attaining it.
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