Because human minds have been used to designation (forms and labeling), dualistic thinking and discrimination, most of those who go to Buddhist temples and monasteries tend to pay a lot of attention to sights and scenes, statues, images, human beings, and bells, chanting sounds, etc., which they encounter and perceive at those places. They usually forget that the essential thing is what they may have learned from the temple and the monastery they visited.
Temples and monasteries are places to learn the Dharma, and to learn how to transform the untamed mind into a better and skillful one. They are definitely not places to socialize and show off Dharma knowledge. They are not tourist resorts, nor summer retreat areas, even though there are usually beautiful landscapes surrounding a temple, and people may enjoy the relaxing quiet, and the special environment there.
You should not use the discriminating mind to compare this monk/nun with another based on what s/he said or how s/he looked to you as a visitor to the temple. You simply cannot understand the culture of a temple that you have only visited once or twice. It is difficult for you as a visitor to understand and to judge when you haven't had a complete picture of what you are judging. It takes a long time to understand a person and a culture, and anything related to a person and a culture.
Most importantly, visitors should not turn temples and monasteries into places to discuss worldly affairs and pleasures, such as family problems and disputes,or financial issues. Any forms of human transactions should have no place in such places.
If you plan to visit a temple or a monastery, you should not believe in what others said about the edifice and about those who dwell in it. You have to come and see for yourself. Only your experiences will help you discover the reality and the true values of such a place and such people.
The gist of your visit to a temple is what spiritual lessons remain with you afterwards.
