As early as 6 or 7 years old, I began to know some religious terminology, rituals and activities. It all began with my visits to temples and religious groups and meetings with my parents. They, with their own pursuits and in their respective and unintentional ways, had introduced me to various religious communities.
I familiarized myself first with Cao Dai, an indigenous religion founded by a Vietnamese in 1926, which my father joined out of his love for poetry; then with the Theosophical Society, the gatherings of whose members my mother liked to attend because of its fascinating literature and lectures about occult science, cosmology, and Oriental spiritual life; and, finally, with Buddhism, which is my choice to follow. I learned the sacred mantra Om maṇipadme hūṃ, and the often chanted phrase “Cao Đài Tiên Ông Đại Bồ Tát Ma-ha-tát” (Cao Dai the Ancient Sage and Great Bodhisattva Mahasattva) during my several visits to a Cao Dai Holy Temple in Gia Dinh, near Saigon. I even had vegetarian meals there occasionally. As a second- or first-grader (I cannot remember well now), I found the names and photos of Annie Besant, Helena Blavatsky, Henry Steel Olcott, and the motto "There is no Religion higher than Truth" from a banner across the hall of the Theosophical Society in Saigon very striking. I was especially interested in the beautiful, mystical and colorful drawings in the Society books which my mother bought home to read. I was able to read then, and could also understand the lectures and the books in my own childish ways. I started to build a small altar on one of the family bookshelves. It was part of a tall bookcase behind a curtain, where I could stand and pray in privacy. I used to stand there praying whenever I felt insecure or needed some help emotionally or academically. It was my nook of refuge.
One day one of my elder brothers who was interested in foreign languages and Esperanto brought home the Dhammapada, a well-known versified Buddhist Scripture. He wanted to translate it from English into Vietnamese and Esperanto. Thanks to the text he brought home, I started to learn some verses from the Dhammapada. I immediately found the Scripture very attractive, and soon learned many lines by heart. I was also able to learn about the Buddhist ascetic life in two occasions when I climbed up a mountain in Vung Tau with my father, my brother, and some other Esperantists to visit a German monk living alone in a small hut he had built up there to practice Buddhism. The monk was an Esperantist, too. At that time I was about 12 or 13 years old. After the war was over, the monk had to leave Vietnam, and for a long time we lost all contacts with him. I did not see my brother again for many, many years. But the Dhammapada and my brother’s translations live on with me despite all life vicissitudes.
In the 1980s during my college years I used to seek quiet places to study. Because the university and city libraries were far from my home, and it would take me hours to ride my bike back and forth only to study at such quiet places, I preferred to bike to nearby Buddhist temples to study instead. There are many Buddhist temples scattered here and there in Saigon, even in my own neighborhood. My habit of studying in temples was first developed when I had to take the admission examination to college at the age of 17 - 18. I have always enjoyed the monastic quiet atmosphere since then. A second nook of refuge for me.
Too busy with college life and making a living, I could hardly afford time to go to Buddhist temples to listen to Dhamma talks as I wished for many adult years. However, there were some occasions when I could join my father or my mother to a temple in Phu Nhuan to listen to Dhamma talks by very well-known Buddhist monks. Again I saw the familiar Dhammapada verses framed and hung on the walls inside the Temple. The first Dhamma talk I received there was about the Kalama Sutra (Buddhist Charter of Free Inquiry). It was a revelation to me, and soon after that I took the five precepts and became a Buddhist. It is a landmark in my life. From then on I have gradually built up my own refuge, a safe and solid refuge in the Buddha, the Dhamma, and the Sangha, which helps to protect me from all life adversities.
I am grateful to my parents’ early and liberal introduction to religious activities, and to their crucial guidance to Buddhism near the end of their lives. I am also grateful to all the venerable monks at the Temple where I visited and listened to Dhamma talks as a young adult. How blessed and delightful I am to have such precious and hard-to-find guides in my life! Till the end of my life I will dwell in the Three-Gem Refuge of my choice, for it is the best Refuge I have ever found in life.
